“I wish I could play little league now. I’d be way better than before.” – Mitch Hedberg
I bet I could hit it over the fence, like, most of the time.
Going to the bathroom.
Turns out it's not that hard (when you're sober).
Grabbing something from a high shelf.
Nice try putting the cookie jar on top of the fridge, mom, but I'm almost six feet tall now.
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