Nothing says true love like watching your boo shit in the sand.
A guy invited me over after dinner to watch a movie. We started cuddling when I began to feel sick from the food. I bolted to the bathroom where I had explosive diarrhea. I thought that would make me feel better, but nope — vomit started coming out! I whipped around, throwing up in the toilet. When I sat to regain myself, I saw I'd pooped on his floor while I'd been vomiting. I went to clean it, but there was a single square of toilet paper left. I scooped it with the empty roll, smearing the poop into his floor, hid the roll in the trash, and left. He never asked me out again.
—Holly Snelson, Facebook
I was with a guy I really liked, and when we got back to his house, I REALLY had to poop. Usually that wouldn't make me nervous, but I'd eaten a bag of corn for dinner the night before because ~college life~. My poop was the consistency of soft-serve ice cream, swirling around the toilet bowl with corn pieces in it. It wouldn't flush, so after panicking, I paid his suite mate 20 bucks to take the blame for it. I will never eat an entire bag of corn again.