Would I become part of the Courgetti Cult?
Rebecca Hendin / BuzzFeed
I bloody love carbs. I’ve been known to eat a mac ‘n’ cheese toastie for lunch, and growing up in an Indian family, where it’s completely normal to eat a potato curry with rice and rotis, meant that I was practically raised to worship beige food.
The problem is, I regularly find myself lying down post-meal, flies open and button undone, moaning from my rapidly expanding belly. I also tend to favour starchy carbs over the good guys, i.e. vegetables, so not only do I constantly have food babies, I'm not dropping them off at pool as much as I should, if you know what I'm saying.
Remee Patel / BuzzFeed
Right now, healthier alternatives to high-carb foods are all the rage. By preparing vegetables in a way that mimics the texture of carbs like rice or pasta, you can apparently create lighter versions of your favourite meals, all with minimal effort. As an avid carb lover I am sceptical of these claims, but what I really want to know is: Do they actually taste any good?
Sure, I can believe you can make a pizza base out of caulfiower, and sure, I can believe it might actually be fairly easy, but can I really believe it when someone says: « OMG cauliflower pizza is amazing! I love it so much I don't even miss regular pizza! »? Did they even really like pizza that much in the first place to say such heinous shit? Is Gwyneth holding them hostage? Am I, a regular person who says they'll go to the gym but doesn't actually go to the gym, really going to enjoy a pizza made from fucking cauliflower?
I also wanted to find out if these methods were an easy and effective way to help me reach my five a day (the number of portions of fruit and veg you should eat daily, as recommended by the World Health Organization) since many of the substitutes call for the use of vegetables. I decided I would make five meals using popular alternatives. Each meal I've rated based on cooking level, taste, effectiveness as a dupe, and health (carbs you save, which I calculated using MyFitnessPal, and potential contributions towards your five a day.