This takes hipster restaurants to a whole new level.
In 2016, we know that all of our favourite places are using a critical mass of what might be referred to as « hipster shit ». Some of it is even nice, like these lights.
Sure, they're basically a bit pointless, and if you worked here you'd never be able to replace one when it blew 10 minutes into your shift – you can't generally get custom squirrel cage filament bulbs at the corner shop for 50p (or three for a pound). But they do add some aesthetic joy, and since you're trying to interrupt the drudgery of your life by going out to have fun, it's probably a good thing everywhere isn't a brutalist wonderland of concrete walls and straight-backed chairs and PVC windows.
But it’s also possible that we’ve gone too far, because we are at the point where there are multiple ways to eat spaghetti bolognese wrong.
Now, both these pictures are from the same place, a year apart, and by most accounts the food is delicious! Which makes the entire thing so much more frustrating – because this way of eating is ruining it. The end of the spaghetti is going to be impossibly dry.
It also means that at some point, this restaurant started to think that maybe putting it all in one jar was a mistake, but rather than adopting, y'know, a plate or a bowl or any of the other things that humanity has carefully designed for exactly this purpose over millennia, they just switched to more jars. It might help the dryness issue, but this place REALLY hates its kitchen porters, apparently.
And that’s still nothing compared to some of the travesties allowed to happen, like this flowerpot, artfully spilled across a wooden board that you can just tell is soaking up all the dressing. Dressing that someone probably worked hard on, at some point.
Annoying to carry, confusing to eat, and more or less impossible to clean to the level of hygiene you would really hope for, since this looks untreated and therefore not really possible to put in a dishwasher!
Then there are masterpieces of hipsterification, like this Dyson Airblade, cunningly aged to look as though this 2006 invention came from a century ago. It’s the bathroom appliance equivalent of those people who self-consciously wear flashy historical clothing in place of a personality.
It's in the bathroom as well, so it's not even adding to the atmosphere. The bathroom is last place you want atmosphere, especially if that atmosphere is « dysentery ».
Sophie Gadd / BuzzFeed