This Spider-Catcher Is So Fucking Mesmerizing To Watch

Now you see it. Now you don’t.

People, THIS is the « My Critter Catcher »:

People, THIS is the "My Critter Catcher":

It's an « As Seen On TV » product. It's $16.95. It's pure fucking magic.

I'll set the scene: You're watching TV or maybe you're washing a lone pan or you're folding socks into little bundles and then … BAM … spider … 3 o'clock … spasming its way right over to your personal space (let's face it: it's 3 feet away — BUT STILL). And that's when you reach for the CRITTER CATCHER.

NOW LET ME EXPLAIN TO YOU WHY IT'S A GIFT FROM THE GODS IN ALL CAPS…

mycrittercatcher.com

IT USES ITS SPINDLY ARMS TO GENTLY HUG THE SPIDER AND REMOVE IT FROM YOUR FURNITURE CATALOG.

IT USES ITS SPINDLY ARMS TO GENTLY HUG THE SPIDER AND REMOVE IT FROM YOUR FURNITURE CATALOG.

SHAZAM.

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LOOK AT THAT COMFORTING EMBRACE.

LOOK AT THAT COMFORTING EMBRACE.

IT'S AN EMBRACE THAT SAYS: YOU JUST NARROWLY ESCAPED DEATH AND NOW YOU'RE GOING TO HANG OUT INSIDE SOME COMPACTED TOOTHBRUSH BRISTLES FOR A SEC.

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AND THEN YOU CARRY THE SPIDER OUTSIDE AND RELEASE IT INTO THE WILD.

AND THEN YOU CARRY THE SPIDER OUTSIDE AND RELEASE IT INTO THE WILD.

GO FREE, LITTLE BRIAN!

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